Laur (easytakeit) wrote in paranoid_pd,
Laur
easytakeit
paranoid_pd

I'm 20 years old and I can sometimes be really paranoid. Not paranoid about other people "hating me" or anything like that... but paranoid that I am the only brain and other people aren't real, or people can read my head, or i put myself down. I know everyone feels this way sometimes, but i think we shouldn't get carried away with it. In reality, i know that nobody knows. what i mean is, if someone has a delusional thought of someone doing something behind their back... you will never know. this could be that they really are doing something threatening.. or they really aren't. i usually come to find that they really aren't. i just blame society about this. i see people thinking the same way as me. people might think its not normal, but really its a part of human nature to be curious about the universe and the people/things in it and questioning their motives. its just that some people take it to the "extreme", whatever that is. then i think why are mental illnesses not normal? society makes it seem that psychosis is not normal. but what really is. whatever thought someone has that is not "normal" and "delusional" is REAL to them, therefore it is real. people try who say things are normal are trying to find an objective in life that maybe does not exist. once you think about it, theories in science try to come to the objective. BUT a theory, in scienctific terms is said that nobody can PROVE it or DISPROVE it. that is why i wonder. i am applying science to how humans think. and i think that since humans think so subjectively, objective just DOES not exist. because we have our own mind can somewhat prove this because everyone mind is in fact subjective. people look at their bodies different from how other people see it. anorexics see their body in a different extreme than other people see it. its all opinion, everything is opinion so i wonder if an objective to a situation in life really exists. how can we say someone is schizo because we are not seeing what they see? their minds are just wired differently, so that does not make them "wrong" or not "normal". it's their subjective taken to the extreme distorting their "reality". if we were all having delusions, then schizophrenia would not even be a mental disorder! having no delusions would be the disorder. what is nice, is that though we are all subjective, we have our own struggles and somehow we can relate to the people we love. that is why we love our friends and feel close with certain people. it's just to know that your not the only one seeing things in a "weird" way. so whenever i freak myself out, i know that i really AM NOT ALONE. society made us have an ego. and ego as in "oh i'm better than this person because i fit in more" or "oh i can't join that club because i'm not as good or as smart as those people".... how do we REALLY know this?... we don't therefore an ego is kind of a delusion in itself. idk. its out there. but i don't care. but people who think that things are "WAY OUT THERE" have not stopped to think. we should live life a little more and not think way too much sometimes. we are all depressed in some way.. its a part of growing up. what we don't realize is that our minds are more powerful than we think. this can be a really good thing. if we have a bad thought that we don't like (it can be conscious or subconscious) there is a way we can realize the thought. we can escape obsessive thoughts. it takes a little understanding of HOW the mind works and HOW to change our mind. just think... we have more subconscious than conscious in our heads. you just have to find a way to destroy the thought that is making us upset. our feelings come from thoughts.... or do our thoughts come from feelings? (well thats not get into that). but anyway... a chemical reaction makes a thought... that thought gives us a feeling... we don't like this feeling so we must connect this thought with a different feeling, a feeling we like. this is why we must look at this thought in a different way. its not easy. if one can realize this and you are really hurting, you can change it if you really want to. i don't know how i think you must just look in yourself. its very hard so thats why i think doctors just give ya a quick fix pill to make a person feel better. its because society ALWAYS wants things faster. this doesn't mean you actually fix it, you just bury it. YOU can fix it, but only YOU can fix it. psychologists are there to try to open your mind to think your situation in a different light, they will give you the suggestion, but in reality they can not pick you up and change your thinking, ONLY YOU CAN. so when they feel you can't, they will just pop you a pill. we all have the mental ability to pick up, and we must also realize that things change all the time. i use to think things changing was a bad thing. most of us hate it because we dislike the unfamiliar. BUT if you think about it if nothing changed, even your mind, we would be stuck! so if you were stuck with these thoughts and your environment you would be stuck in your suffering. THANK god we have changes in our life, good and bad. with good comes bad, with bad comes good. at least when we grow older we see that the bad may not be SO bad and we build a tough heart and head to be able to handle it better because we somehow now what to expect. if you don't like something, CHANGE IT. it easy to say than do. but you can do, why not? my dad is a manic depressive. he is so trapped in his own mind and thinks "out there stuff" sometimes. he can't work or anything because of other physical problems so he is stuck inside all day in his head. my heart breaks for him. BUT lately he has been meditating and i got him a book about the mind that he has been reading. HE has been SO happy ever since. i'm wondering if these drugs he takes really helps. he is changing his way of thinking, trying to feel good. hes been relaxing and meditating and i see him being less manic and, idk, he just seems so happy. i suggest that people should STOP, get out of their heads sometimes, and just appreciate the fact, and hope, and realize that you DONT have to feel this way. you can change things. know that nothing is permanent. the way you feel one way is not how you will feel tomorrow. thats what gets me through bad times. but hey, who knows if this will work for anyone else, after all, it is my subjective ;).
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